Cowardly Lion

With just eleven days on the ol' egypt-counting clock i'm starting to get really nervous. If it wasn't for Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic space travel company, there wouldn't have been a further destination for me to go.

"You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all! I even scare myself." -Cowardly Lion, Wizard of Oz

I'm travelling to a country that is renowned for it's terrorist links. Where newspapers are frequented with headlines of "Tourists the target of Cairo bomb" and "Islamic group claims Cairo bombing" but with terrorism in our backyards these days i guess what difference does it make if im wandering through Paddy's Markets, Haymarket or Khan el-Khalili, Cairo.



I'm travelling to a country where the respect for woman is non-existent. Where 85% of the female population has been circumcised. Where the wife is not equal to the man and should not be seen smoking or drinking. Where female tourists are depicted as prostitutes and are taunted and touched by other Egyptian males.



I'm travelling to a country 10855 miles away on my little ownsome for a month. I'll have noone to bounce questions off if i don't know what im doing....ok so thats most of the time. I'll have noone to laugh at my insanely witty and hilariously funny sense of humour ;-)...except for me. Most importantly, i will have noone to give me a cuddle when i get homesick and sooky...and no, Achmed the rug merchant's advances will not count.


So please get me started on flying. Why is it flying down the freeway on the back of my motorbike with nothing between me and the skin biting, bone breaking bitumen road put's a cheesy smile on my dial and yet being in tombed in a cylindrical pressurised tincan hurtling through the sky at 400km's per hour is enough to put my stomach in my throat and imprints of my sweaty palms in the arm rests...Hmm.. when i put it like that who can blame me really.

I'm sure its normal to be getting a little bit nervy ...and you know, i'm sure its normal that my nerves are affecting my sleep. Oh and I'm sure its normal that this pre-holiday stress is causing me to have a stomach ulcer.



But HEY, i love travelling!!!!

What, Where and When

I know its been hard for everyone to sleep without knowing where i'm going to be...oh wait, that's ME with the sleeping problems over this trip. Well anyway, here's my itinerary. You can print off a map and follow my footsteps day by day if that's your thing.

8th February - Pack my bags, go to the airport, bend over and let Sydney kiss my sweet sweet ass good bye! Flight out at 4:55pm.......
....Get in at Singapore at 9.55pm...bend over again at 11:55pm to let Singapore kiss my sweet sweet ass good bye HOWEVER this could get confusing as they may think i am bowing in greeting.

9th February - At some point my little pilot downs the plane in Dubai for a quick chat and a suck on the sheeshah. But it's not long and i'm back in the air bound for Cairo....6:30am i drag my weary bones off the plane and cross fingers my little Egyptian transfer man is there with my name blazoned across some dodgy piece of cardboard. Today i shall kick back and relax at my hotel, Kings hotel in Cairo.

10th February - First day of the tour. Well... they SAY it's the first but nothing happens. I'm left to my own devices to discover Cairo.

11th February - Today i meet my fellow tourians and we head out to the Pyramids (woohoo!!) and then a bit more exploring of Cairo in the arvo

12th February - I'm kinda excited about this day. We pack our crap into some jeeps and set off into the Western Desert. We stop off at the oasis of Farafra for lunch and a swim in a natural spring, then head into the White desert. Tonight we camp under the stars and let dingo's steal our babies.

13th February - Still in the desert and no doubt suffering from sand in places sand should not go, we head to another oasis called Dakhla. Apparently we visit a mud-brick place called Al Qasr (mud in the desert??) then we sing Kumbaya my lord in the communal showers and sleep in reed huts. No doubt i will be longing for my portable TV by this point.

14th February - HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! Today i will be substituting Luke for a camel. They have lined up a Camel Safari in the afternoon and again there will be some camping under the stars. Earlier in the day we do some 4wd'ing in the dunes (Woohoo!!!) and swimming in the hot springs. Must remember to take soap and rubber duck to the spring for a good scrub down.

15th February - Not sure if we are still on camels but we go to the oasis Al Kharga to see temples and a christian burial ground dating to the 7th century. I think its another night of camping at the Oasis Baris. No doubt by this point no more sand can fit into the places that sand shouldn't go.

16th February - Today we take a 4-5 hour drive to Luxor for a romp through the bazaar and visit Karnak Temple - they boast to be the greatest Temple complexes in Egypt. Hopefully will be in a hotel so i can gurney that sand out

17th February - Today is officially Donkey day. We ride these poor malnourished donkeys through the Valley of the Kings and enjoy aeriel views of temples and stuff.

18th February - I'm seeing the word "early start" popping up alot and apparently today is no different. For those that know me will be thinking out-loud "man, she'll be grumpy by this point." Today we head to Aswan. The weather should be getting warm and i'll be stripping off the layers to get a few rays. This city apparently is on the nile and we kick back and explore the place.

19th February - Today i'll get to say the word 'Felucca' alot. Felucca. Felucca..FELucca! Yes, i like saying it and saying it alot i will. We'll head on over to Abu Simbel and watch the sunrise over temples (damn these early starts!) take some happy snaps then kick back till lunch time we jump on board our FELUCCA'S. Destination? Komombo.

20th-21st February - This toilet-less boat follows the currents of the Nile and i just kick back and watch the world pass me by. This goes on for a couple of days and no doubt by the end of it i'll have annoyed everyone with my repetitive use of the word Felucca.

22nd February - Today we reach Edfu, get off the boat, get on a bus and head to Luxor. That night we get on an overnight train back to Cairo. Looks like a day of travels with my head glued to the window watching the weird and wonderful ways of Egypt.

23rd February - Back in Cairo, i explore some more and try my now experienced hand at bargaining.

24th February - Today i'm destined for Sinai. It's a night of living it up in a hostel. Bed lice anyone?

25th, 26th & 27th February - Hello Mount Sinai! Another crack of dawn start and i'm climbing the Steps of Repentance. I hope these steps have some length cos i have alot to repenting to do, 29 years worth to be exact. On that note God was a wise, wise man not to let me look after the ten commandments tablets. He gave that job to some guy called Moses or something. Just as well, i'd probably lose them or break a couple.
So some happy snaps will be taken as the sun rises over the mountains and i'll be trooping back down to Dahab for a couple of days of sun, snorkeling and diving down into the depths of the Red Sea. Yeehaaa! This im looking forward to.

28th February - Its back to Cairo for us all for the final night and no doubt a booze up together.

1st March - A welcomed Buffet breaky for the extremely hung over at the hotel then i'm left again to my own devices in Cairo. Just lil' ol' me... what to do, what to do.

2nd March - It's time to make my way to the airport for my 1.20pm flight out of this sandy soaked, dry weathered, haggling middle eastern town. Ahoy me maties, i set sail on my epic journey home.

3rd March - Bleary eyed i arrive in Singapore at 7:15am. I drag my knuckles to the airport hotel were i shower for an hour and sleep off a month of restless nights. Hopefully i'll be up by 2pm for a bit of Singapore shopping and a bite to eat on Orchard road. Must be back in time to get on the 8:40pm flight outta here.

4th March - 7:15am and i'm back in Sydney. Hallelujah!!! How good it will feel to be home. Hopefully Luke will remember who i am and will come and get me from the airport.

Adventure over!!

15 Days to go and the heat is on

It's time to get this thing rolling. With just 15 days left on the Egypt counter you'd think organising my trip would be number one priority. Well, it is! Work has become this constant grind waking each morning and i feel insanely unmotivated heading into the pee pee soaked heck hole each day.... so nothing has really changed.

I have organised my vaccinations, my transfers, my documents, my phone and even my wedding ring but im baffled as to what im going to wear!!! When i think Egypt i think 50 degree days of dragging my knuckles through desert and seeing mirages of naked men swimming in oasis pools of water in the distance. Not nights of wearing thermal underwear ,clambering mountains of snow and sporting thick jackets around the markets of Cairo. No, this is not the Egypt i know and im defiant in letting it get this cold.... all of a sudden i have become god and have the powers to keep the weather at a barmie 32 degrees.

It may come as a surprise to some but im not god, and it wont be the barmie 32 degrees i would like so i need to work out my clothes situation sooner rather than later. Packing four seasons in my little backpack is going to be a tiresome feat thats for sure. I can imagine it looking like a string tied roast lamb once im finished packing. One false move and the thing will explode. Looks like i wont be taking the foot spa and portable television after all.....